dedodododedadada’s blog

vo-la!

I was flying again. This is a picture of my last flight dream and how I started to fall near power lines. I wrote about it in a previous entry. I'm still just waiting for someone to swoop from under me and save me before I taste asphalt. I guess I'm still in the falling status.

Strange but I'm also in a drowning state too. I'm waiting to surface quickly to catch my breath. In both cases I just want to meet at ground level and be relieved. Funny how I'm coming down and coming up at the same time.

Unless you allow yourself to be emptied out you can't be filled with anything. I feel so emptied out, can I be cleared of any more I wonder? I think about all what I'm going through, If it's true that no great reward comes without great sacrifice, then I ask myself how great is this reward, because this is byfar far-beyond any sacrifice I have ever imagined me enduring.

I suppose that's perfect, God has room in me to do something. I am so humbled by life, I know he exhalts the humble. I know how hollowed out I've become in a meek and beautiful way, but it still hurts inside.

I'm not saying I have no depth or substances. It would be unhealthy if I that was what I was saying. I'm still someone. It's just strangely both empty yet full. Does that make sense? A heart full of emptiness is not the same as a heart empty of fullness.

This is more than I ever wanted to pay and I hope I can endure to the end and that God will shorten the days even more so, that the end comes sooner than what was originally planned. I am depleted. spent. brassed and expounded.

I swear the people who live above me are from loudland. Really want to say somethng about it. I fell asleep in my costume last night.

I was flying again. This is a picture of my last flight dream and how I started to fall near power lines. I wrote about it in a previous entry. I'm still just waiting for someone to swoop from under me and save me before I taste asphalt. I guess I'm still in the falling status.

Strange but I'm also in a drowning state too. I'm waiting to surface quickly to catch my breath. In both cases I just want to meet at ground level and be relieved. Funny how I'm coming down and coming up at the same time.

Unless you allow yourself to be emptied out you can't be filled with anything. I feel so emptied out, can I be cleared of any more I wonder? I think about all what I'm going through, If it's true that no great reward comes without great sacrifice, then I ask myself how big is this reward, because this is byfar far-beyond any sacrifice I have ever imagined me enduring.

I suppose that's perfect, God has room in me to do something. I am so humbled by life, I know he exhalts the humble. I know how hollowed out I've become in a meek and beautiful way, but it still hurts inside.

I'm not saying I have no depth or substances. It would be unhealthy if I that was what I was say. I'm still someone. It's just strangely both empty yet full. Does that make sense? A heart full of emptiness is not the same as a heart empty of fullness.

This is more than I ever wanted to pay and I hope I can endure to the end and that God will shorten the days even more so, that the end comes sooner than what was originally planned. I am depleted. spent. brassed and expounded.

I swear the people who live above me are from loudland. Really want to say somethng about it. I fell asleep in my costume last night.

I don't even recall if I posted this picture before. Drew it a while back.

 Man! It's taking alot of effort for me to get up and work on my website. I really don't feel like doing that right now. I have to somehow. There's just a lot of things I don't want to do today (without great sacrifice, there is no great reward. -Emerson) I'm going to a Costume Party tonight. I have to some how get the car and I don't want to ask my mom for it.

I'm going to dress up in my dream suit. which is a red and black striped suit I own made out of crush valore.

I wonder do Americans have a pizza called "the American"? If so what would be on it?

I'm just discovering the Monkees first album called "the Monkees" , I heard the hits on them but even the songs that didn't become well known hits were pretty good. It stayed number one for 13 weeks of the billboard charts. Can you imagine that happening to you? 5 million copies were sold and it was somewhere on the charts for 45 weeks. That's crazy huge! The tv show must of been a factor in that. I think I need to buy that album one day.

Coffee that's iced is really a lethal combination. If it was hot then at least the drink would would go slower, but I can easily finish two tall glasses of coffee-slushies in ten minutes. I wasn't always a coffee freak but I'm so one now! Still I love it hot or cold. I'd have coffee practically everyway except snorting it. I want to write a kids book called "Jack and the coffee bean stalk". Jack goes up to coffee heaven and never comes back. haha! Maybe his name is not Jack. Maybe it's Joe.

Anyways, It's freaking me out how I'm just bursting with ideas. I'm greiving over all the assignments I'm working on. I want them all done. blah. Man I just feel vox is a small place. Okay back to it the grind!

When Celena posted that picture I kept thinking how Tim Burton could make at least a doll version of Sid. I guess I could to but I'm busybored. It's still fun.

I had a dream last night about NOT taking a plane but taking a train. There was also the three stooges but only 2 of them. I was also climbing a tree to get on a bridge and it was pretty clear after a while that I was climbing the wrong tree. I hate it when that happens. I know what that meants. I frustrate me.

I saw Indiana Jones and the Last Crusiade today. The online that jumped out at me was when he said "It belongs in a museum. That reminded me of the golden bar of soap I once found cause that's what I said. I wonder if that was hint to me. 

I need to find some quick commissions peices to get some fast money. How insufferable.

Previously unbeknownst to myself, I decided to mapquest 'Hell' to find out where it is. Evidently it's in Michagan state. This normaly wouldn't make any sense to me because Michagan is such a beautiful State, but then I saw how it's just outside of Detroit by 40 miles and it all of a sudden became clear to me. Detroit and Michagan are both not from the same place.

Hell's coordinates are 42°26′05″N, 83°59′06″W and its ZIP Code is 48169. The population is 266, but those numbers must be off. The place was officially named on October 13, 1841.

Funny, I never realized I've flown over Hell before. Can you imagine the sign? Welcome to Hell.

This was a nice day. i got some rest. Church was great. Sometimes it feels like someone is reading my email. Anyways I like how things happen to me during the week and then it's some how sum up on a Sunday morning in a Sermon. It's like that was just what I need to hear.

Anyways I am going to change somethings to say the least. I kind of want to go back over it to savoir it again. I came home and watch Gilmore Girls and then slept for a few hours.

Then I made lunch and washed the kitchen. had an ice coffee watch more videos and then went out to my favourite coffee pub. I spent an hour and a half there doodling and dreaming.

I noticed that doodling is like  'visual day dreaming' to me. I seem to escape in it. I love to get lost in it. I don't mind day dreaming, I just don't want to always be in the day dreaming era. I want to walk into the pages and living it out. thinking what I want and seeing it happen before me. Anyways, booths are cool. it's like a private place to be by yourself or with someone.

After I went to Mcdonalds for a Deli Sandwich and this old man started talking to two girls around my age nearby. They were from Barrie and he told them in the 60's he got in a car accident outside Barrie, where the ambulance attendence told him he was dead for 20 minutes.

He said he met Jesus Christ and was in Heaven and he discribed everything he saw around him. I don't think he was noticing the girls reactions because they had alotof snarcastic comments for him. He said Jesus was coming back to clean up this place and they thought McDonalds.

I can't blame them for reacting the way they did because there was a real forwardness to his approach which I don't think works to create repore. I think 80% of people who got saved did through a friend who they knew for a long while. So that's why it's next to impossible to just meet someone and hope five minutes later you can help them get saved. I think that's why Jesus said go and make friends.I do believe the guy's experince was real thou. Everything he discribed and said lined up with everything I've read and even experienced.

So I came home and watched another Gilmore Girls eposode and then wrote this. What you're looking at are parts of my dream I had two years ago, the one where I fell in a whole and started to drown but then cam out as a plant. I drew the plant scene but it 's less detailed then this so it wasn't worth scanning.

College reunion thing is a week away, worked on the decorations this weekend, bought some streamers and I'm mking the banner. hope to knock it off nicely. I pray alot of them come out. Either way I'm deliberately going to have a good time. have to finish my website this week. I mean seriously. Taking longer than I liked. That's all.

I wrote a poem but I don't know if I can post it here.

Anyways I had a dream last night my grandfather suddenly died, he was pale and lime-like. I went to check him and I was sure he was dead. My grandmother started to fail too. She was still alive but was spuing liquid, my aunts had arms around her. she started to go lime-like and I didn't see her die but then my grandfather came back to life. He was dead for like several minutes. I wonder if they are going to pass away soon. This isn't the first dream I had about this.

Unrelated topic. That new Evanesence album looks like it's going to bomb by the look of the cover alone. I just saw it today and I didn't even know they had something out. I haven't heard anything.

Matt and Jeremy were my room mates and we weren't getting along well. I wanted to sleep and they'd make noises at crazy hours. We had so many riffs. Then we had talks and was being understood by them and I was understanding them.

I was on a beach sitting on a chair made of sand. And there was second sand chair beside me. and Pastor Steve was 10 yards away from me and he was lightly tossing some stones that felt about 7 oz. each. I caught them as I sat there and they didn't hurt my hands when I did. He threw one and was no where near in my catching range and he went to talk to the people were the stone fell near.

Then to ladies (mid forties) wanted to sit were I was and I didn't want tobut I compromised and considered their feelings and gave it to them.

Then I saw Pastor Steve again making one of his sand castles. For some strange reason I felt he was famous for making sand castles. It was a good one. I told him about making one that was 100 feet square but I meant to say 100 inches but I didn't hear me saying 'feet' so I naturally was going on what I was saying and didn't stop. He and a few others had such a look of confusion.

Then they said to me a 100 feet sand castle would be the size of a city and I understood my mistake. Then I woke up.

I thought about it and I knew what it meant. It was hard for me to understand but all through out the dream there was misunderstandings and then understanding. There was also considerations for others.

There's a girl I know that I care alot for but I was greatly misunderstood by her long ago. The dream is suggesting there will be understanding soon. I hope this happens beyond me.